Unwelcome

Why do we sometimes enter into situations knowing that, in the moment, it'll be great, but later on it will hurt us? That's a very befuddling question, isn't it. I have been dealing with a certain situation for a year now...it keeps popping back up every time I think I've defeated it. Now, I believe I HAVE defeated this problem.

Everytime this situation has reoccurred, the sudden and unexplained end of this situation has tormented me. It has puzzled me, saddened me, embittered me, and many other things that are pulsating through my mind too quickly for me to type. However,I did an experiment this time when this situation came up...yet again.

My experiment was the following: I conciously entered the situation again, not being able to specify the number of reoccurance it was, being as there have been too many in the past. I observed, remembered, recorded, and saved anything that is reoccuring and also the happenings new. I analyzed them.I analyzed them from a third party observer type viewpoint. This helped me greatly understand what was happening and make an opinion based on what was best for me, not what I wanted. And most importantly, I did whatever was necessary to remain indifferent. I failed and some points and succeeded in others, but ultimately I remaind unattached to this situation.

My experiment worked. Yes, the situation evaporated once again. In the past, this is the time when I'm unhappy, dejected, unapproachable, and aloof. But this time, by maintaining a [mostly] indifferent standpoint, I emerge from the problem unharmed, not caring, and glad that I know I've finally overcome something. I can't even explain to you how happy I am that I never again have to worry about this problem. If it comes back, it will be, for the first time, unwelcome.