Today is a wonderful day. The weather is nice, my classes have been fun and interesting, I'm wearing something very comfortable, and I have the best of friends possible. I'm very excited for the weekend, however. I'm just in a wonderful mood. I love wonderful moods.
When I'm in a bad mood, my entire day is ruined. I'm angry, frustrated, or sad and that not only effects my behavior but also those around me. If I am in a bad mood, there is a good chance I'll ruin the mood of everyone else by the way I talk to them, act in front of them, or just my general disposition and unwillingness to laugh and enjoy life. But also, if I have a bad day, it will most ikely affect several more days after that while I'm dealing with the aftermath of my poor behavior and bad word choices. In any respect, bad moods are wretched.
In a sort of related topic...there is a certain matter that seems to take on a rather bipolar nature in my current life. I have two decisions. One, seems like the right course of action on some days, and the other makes more sense on opposite days. I'm just confused. These issues don't necessarily take on a concept form but rather a human one. Well...human ones. There are two different people in my web of friends that represent two different crowds. The ideal solution would be to fuse these two "cliques" together, but the nature of the people within them represent two different moods within myself that do not and cannot survive together. It's like the Pauli Exclusion Principle. No two electrons of the same nature can occupy the same orbital course. There I go with my nerdiness.
Anyway, one circle of friends is more well behaved. However, I feel less like I must try to be a part of the group. The second is a little edgier, but I feel less judged if I make a mistake than when I surround myself with the other group. I wouldn't do the things the second group indulges in, but simply being around it could influence me or get me into serious, irreversable trouble. I'm not sure...these two people, I love them both. They both are amazing individuals. Around the person from the first group, I can be myself with this person. I can laugh with this person and I have a lot in common with this person. However, sometimes this person can seem aloof...this I do not like about them. Perhaps I simply do not know them well enough to know why this happens and maybe that contributes to why I feel like there are certain things I can't talk to them about. Or maybe that's just a normal thing...that you can't talk about EVERYTHING with a certain person at the point in a friendship this person and I am at. If that makes any sense...probably not. I'm a very confusing person.
The second person, this person is also amazing. I can be my nerdy self with him as well and not feel like I have to hide the fact that I like astronomy and I'm a complete comic book nerd, like the first person. This person, UNLIKE the first, is never aloof. But the problem is, sometimes this person is so involved in my life and so interested in my life that sometimes I just want to tell them to BACK OFF! It's like sometimes they are so interested that they become nosey and annoying. I can't talk to this person about EVERYTHING either. That's my fault not either persons' fault. I'll admit, I have trust issues. I just don't know which person is best suited for me.
I desperately wish I could fuse both circles. But the two are so different and so unique and so "exclusive" that this task is seemingly impossible. I don't believe I can do it within the two more years I am provided for high school. Yes, it's that difficult.
*sits in computer chair and thinks hard for...38 minutes.*
I suppose it just comes down to who I find myself most happy around...and I believe I've made that decision.
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